Tuesday, June 6, 2006

The Crazies 2010 Alternate Ending

Alright, so here's the deal. I just don't buy the fact that being in a Mack truck would fully protect you from a government blast designed to level the entire town you're in. This is Hollywood bullshit and it's just too damn unrealistic to stomach. As I laid in bed after coming home from seeing The Crazies remake this past Friday, I thought up what I believe to be a much better ending to the flick - an ending that's much more fitting to a story such as The Crazies. Lets face it, whether you're Timothy Olyphant or not, if you were in the situation he and his wife were in in the movie, you would have died a horrible fucking death. There's just no way around it and the fact that Olyphantastic & Co. lived through the ordeal just once again shows that Hollywood has zero balls when it comes to horror flicks.

Here's how the movie should have ended.....

So Olyphant's wife is preggers in the movie. First off, she should've been real close to giving birth as the events of the movie begin. And then, at the end, as the two are driving off into the sunset in their atomic blast proof Mack truck, the baby starts to come out. Olyphant pulls off to the side of the road, lays his wife down on the ground, and begins delivering the baby. After an agonizing couple minutes, the baby pops out and the new parents are crying and happy as can be - they've not only survived but their child has come out seemingly happy and healthy. As the new family sits together on the side of the road, the government nukes the entire town - killing all three of them.

Am I just a sick fuck or is this how a god damn HORROR MOVIE should end!?! I don't know about you guys, but I much prefer horror movies that don't have happy endings - isn't that what makes them HORROR movies?