Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's An Excellent Day For A Suicide

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Suicide - the act of taking one's own life
Horror movie suicide - the act of taking one's own life in the most entertaining and impactful way possible

Horror movies have, throughout the years, provided the coolest suicide scenes imaginable. Here are some of my favorites!

Do no try any of these at home. Do it somewhere else, don't mess up your parents carpets.

The Eye 2

If at first you don't succeed...jump, jump again. This bitch must've really wanted to bite it. Then again, failing at killing yourself is pretty embarassing, isn't it?



Burnt Offerings

8.0 for form. 10.0 for the landing. You really stuck that one. But did you have to shower your kid with your blood and brain matter? Shameful.



Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake)

Who knew a single gunshot could do some much damage? Sorry, Edwin Neal, you've been bested. The camera going through the head wound (ignore the fact that she looks like one of those CPR dummies you had to make out with in health class) makes this one great, and the fact that the gun came out her vag prior to being used puts this one over the top. Not a gun i'd wanna touch...or would I?



Hostel

Young mutilated eyeless Japenese girl throwing herself in front of a train because she couldn't bear to go on living looking so horrific. So vain, so vain. Didn't anyone ever tell her to mind the gap? She only served to prove Spacey's point in Seven. A woman. A WOMAN! SO UGLY ONLY THE INSIDE THAT SHE COULDN'T BEAR TO GO ON LIVING IF SHE WASN'T BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE!! The god forsaken Hostel dvd wont let me rip scenes from it. Grrr

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Suicide Club

What's better then one Japanese girl throwing herself in front of a train? 49 of her friends joining her! Gotta love the background music choice.



The Hills Have Eyes

Kids, this is what happens when you put a shotgun in your mouth. Perhaps if Kurt Cobain or Hunter S Thompson had seen this before they decided to pull the trigger, they would've had second thoughts.



Please friends, no matter how hard life gets, don't kill yourself. But if you do, do it in a super cool fashion like the one's above and make sure to film it.

As for me, i'm currently riding on a high ; a couple months back I found several medical books in some dude's garbage outside his house (yes, i've been known to rummage thorugh garbage) and I listed them on Amazon. One on varicose veins just sold today for $70! No suicide in my near future! Thanks lady with varicose veins!

5 comments:

EyeloveMetal said...

For the record. Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain, he didn't blow his own brains out with a shotgun.
Nice Suicides!

John said...

o shit! controversial!

Zarifa said...

Interesting to know.

NotAmerican said...

bullshit, everyone knows the Cabal Of 8 did it...

Anonymous said...

No Dead Zone?