Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Create Your Own Christmasy Horror Flick!


It's contest time! Here's what I want ya to do...

Come up with your own original plot outline for a Christmas horror flick that you'd love to see made. A few simple sentences should do. The person who comes up with the best and most original plot idea will win a very special one of a kind prize package! Whether it be zombie reindeer from hell or overworked elves with a vendetta against Santa, I want to see some wild inventive shit that'd i'd shell out ten dollars to see at the theatre right this instant! The only rules are that it has to be a horror film and it has to have something to do with Christmas.

You have a week to complete the task, so leave a comment with your idea anytime within the next week. If you don't want anyone to jack your ideas and use them as their own, e-mail them to me at! The lucky winner will be announced (and their brilliant idea posted right here) next Wednesday, December 3rd at...whatever time I decide to finally awaken from my daily slumber.

Lets get those creative juices flowing! Nows your chance to shine!


Sauceman said... is the deal....One blustery X-mas eve Santa comes down the chimney of a beautiful buxom blonde....She sees him and immediatly begins fucking him....He goes home to Mrs. Claus and she smells the woman juices on ole St. Nick....and she cuts his off his St. dick! Now that he is sans manhood, he goes around from house to house raping women with a giant girthy candy cane....skull fucking, ear fucking, just general pulverizing....Goriest snuff film of all the times!

John said...

We may have a winner!

By the way, if anyone wants to come up with a title for their fictional movie, be my guest! It'll only help score ya brownie points!

Quanthor said...

Attack of the Killer Mutant Santas

New York shopping mall Santas are preparing for the holiday season by partaking in an instructional class to educate them in the field...but what they don't know, is that a top secret government experiment is about to be taken on them.

The santas are injected with a mysterious toxic fluid to help them communicate better with children as a part of their training. However, things don't according to plan and the fluid begins to mutate them into blood thirsty killers.

By Quanthor.

Quanthor said...

Ok, allow me to submit another idea, the other one was tad generic(but fun), but if doesn't count than this one is on the house....I give you..

The Anti-Christmas

It's 2032, which is exactly 2000 years since the death of Christ. Satan only gets to attempt to give birth to his beloved son once every 1000 years and in order to create him he needs to find a woman of the same bloodline as Mary and plant his seed on the day Christ was born.

In order to capture and find this woman, he has sent his most trusted Demon to Alaska to find Miss Lisa kin to Mary.

In order to survive this demon must feast on the blood of human flesh and find a resting pod with high temperature(i.e. Reindeer).
So, yeah, he controls this reindeer and ejects him self out of it's orphus to feed upon humans.

Will Satan succeed and bestow the world the Anit-Christ?

Quanthor said...

One more for kicks...

I was thinking to myself, what is the most frightening thing besides nativity scenes that you usually see around Christmas time?

Bargain shoppers? Elves? Asshole uncles who have had too much eggnog?

No, fucking carolers! They genuinely creep me the fuck out.

I've given you the mutant Santa element, I given you the religious element, soooooo without further ado, I give to this last holiday treat from the mind of Quanthor...

We Wish You, A Merry Deathmas

Twas the night before Christmas, families await comfortably in their cozy house. For the delightful sounds caroling, that will even soothe a man with severe crab louse.

Ahh, but there is one group among the many that spreads a different kind of holiday cheer, their gory renditions will entrance you, as they gouge your eyes out with cutting shears.

They stuff your arms and legs in stockings and hang them with care, they string your intestines out like garland while they are there.

Maybe next year you'll spend the holiday sailing the sea, because if you don't, your head might be sitting atop a Christmas tree.