Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hangin With Bruce Campbell

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Thought this was a funny little tale. I may be the only one...

So myself and a friend of mine originally met that dude pictured above (on the right, that's me on the left) at a local watering hole a long while back and ended up hanging out with him till the wee hours of the morning. Why? Because to us, in our drunken states of mind, he looked unmistakably like everyone's favorite horror icon, Bruce Campbell. And I guess he was a nice guy and no females would talk to us, but that's besides the point. We had him quote lines from the Evil Dead flicks (he proudly raised his arm in the air and proclaimed "THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK!"), we had him record our voicemail messages (ever try to do that while ossified?), and we just had an all around great time with this guy and essentially made him feel like he was in fact the king. He had no idea who Bruce Campbell was and had never seen any of the ED movies, but he promised that he would after this encounter. Cut to about a year later...

This past Wednesday night. Same local watering hole. A little less to drink. There he was again! And this time, I finally got photographic proof! Now I will admit that although I still do see a little Bruce in his eyes everytime I gaze into 'em (is it just me?), the guy really looks nothin like him sans beer goggles. But who cares! He did at one time and that's good enough for me! The thing is, we no longer treat this guy like he's someone who looks like Bruce Campbell (even though he really doesn't). We treat him as if he IS Bruce Campbell. And he loves it. We call him Bruce. We introduce him to people as Bruce Campbell. We take pictures. We buy him drinks. We wine and dine the man like we'd wine and dine Brucey. Quite frankly, i'd even go as far as to say he's my favorite yellow teethed drunken quasi Bruce Campbell lookalike of all time. And I don't even know his name...

And that's really all there is to the story. Wish I had more, but that's the extent of the encounters. If I can't share useless little anti-climactic stories like these on here, where can I share 'em?! I guess the moral of the story is that those beer goggles are some pretty powerful things. Don't even make me tell ya about the time I took a girl home who looked to me like Megan Fox, only to wake up next to a girl who looked more like Michael J. Fox the next morning. Parkinsons and all! Ya, you're right. That never happened...

If mine and "Bruce's" ships ever pass in the night again, i'll be sure to keep you posted. Cause, ya know, i'm sure you have nothing better to do than read about my encounters with a yellow teethed drunken quasi Bruce Campbell lookalike...

For the record, he still hasn't seen any of Bruce's work and i'm kinda hoping he never does. If he realized he bore little to no resemblance to the man, i'm afraid the fun might come to an end...

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HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!

2 comments:

Jason Takes Portland said...

Sounds like you have a man-crush, or is it a bro-mance?

The sad thing is that other than look at Cyber Monday deals I dont have anything better to do while at work.

John said...

If it weren't for people with nothing better to do, i'd be talking to no one when I write in this blog! So thank god you've got nothing better to do!