Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Santa Claus Conquers The Zombies!

So I originally intended on popping on here and typing up my brilliant idea for a film i'd love to see made titled Santa Claus Conquers The Zombies. First he conquered the martians .... now he will conquer the zombies! That was the tagline, in case ya couldn't tell. I did a quick Google search of that title just to make sure something like it hadn't already been thought up, much like I always do, and to my surprise a similar idea is actually in the works! That is both incredibly awesome (as i'd most likely never actually get around to making it myself) and incredibly saddening (to know that my brilliant ideas have already been thought up by someone much more brilliant). But before we get to that, here's the idea I came up with long before (read : several minutes before) I ever knew such an idea had already been thought up ...

So it's Christmas Eve and as a mother is putting her daughter to bed, she quickly flips off the television, which she isn't even paying attention to. We hear and see a small little glimpse of some kind of apocalyptic event, but we don't hear or see enough to figure out exactly what's going on. Cut to a few hours later. The little girl is in bed and Santa is coming down the chimney. He begins to set out the gifts when he hears banging on the front door ... a lot of banging. He finishes up, drinks his milk and cookies, reads the little note the little girl left out, and heads back up the chimney. When he arrives back on the roof, he finds several of his reindeer dead and mangled and the remainder of them cannibalizing one another. He still hears the banging and looks down from the roof to see several zombies pounding on the door of the house and eventually making their way in. With no means of transportation back to the North Pole, and with a little girl who wrote a cute little note about to get eaten inside the house he is standing atop, Santa decides to take matters into his own hands and springs into action. He magically makes an Uzi appear in his big red sack (hey, he can do that, can't he?) and goes to town on the zombies. Cue the awesome title card and some badass music. And thus begins an hour and a half of Santa kicking some serious undead ass.

All well and good! But when I googled 'Santa Claus Conquers The Zombies', I came upon a comic book titled The Last Christmas...

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Here's the plot ...

The story follows Santa Claus as he withdraws from normal life and turns his back on Christmas. When he emerges from seclusion, he has to find a way to save the world, and Christmas, from being overrun by demons, zombies and other bad guys.

Santa fighting zombies. Same general idea! According to Aint It Cool News, the comic book, which was co-penned by comedian Brian Posehn (the funny looking dude from The Devil's Rejects who went on and on about rodeo clowing and then got shot in the head), is being targeted for a movie adaptation (greatest movie of all time?) by some of the folks behind 300! So it looks like my little idea is gonna go from little idea to feature film without any work on my part! Now that's what I call a Christmas miracle! If only I could get some money for thinking of the idea a year or so after it had already been thought of ...

I guess the lesson here folks is, if ya think of something cool, do it before anyone else does it! Or else ya just might end up kicking yourself in the ass ...

Now go win yourself a free copy of Black Christmas (the original) on special edition DVD!

And if you're getting a little sick of the Christmas content (i'll admit I may have over done it a bit), it'll all be over in a couple days! Who knows, you might even miss it when it's gone!

2 comments:

Brian Churilla said...

The Last Christmas kicks all kinds of ass.

Johnny said...

I really need to get my hands on a copy