Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Movies I Watched In March

Couple days late on this one as all my free online time of late has been devoted to Troma related work (getting the word out there on The Last Horror Film .... if you have a horror blog or website and want a screener to review on there, drop me a line!), but here are all the movies I watched last month with some brief thoughts on each of them .....

Angel of Death - This is actually a web series consisting of 10 episodes, but basically plays out like an hour and a half long movie cut up into 10 parts. If you like Zoe Bell (how can ya not?) and kickass female on male action (how can ya not?!), be sure to check this one out on Crackle.

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) - Well done remake of an awesome classic.

Babysitter Wanted - One of the better horror flicks i've seen this year.

Beyond The Mat - If you've got any doubts about how real the world of pro wrestling is, watch a double feature of this and The Wrestler!

Bitten - Fun little flick made more fun that it probably should be by Jason Mewes.

Class of Nuke 'Em High - Whether you like Troma or ya don't, ya gotta love Troma!

The Dead Pool - Not my favorite of the Dirty Harry flicks, but Clint Eastwood kickin ass is Clint Eastwood kickin ass and i'll take that in any form.

Death Race 2000 - The first half of this movie is one of the greatest things i've ever witnessed. It loses a bit of steam in its later half, but it's still an awesome cult classic that i'm proud to say i've finally seen. Long live Frankenstein!

Double Dare - Fascinating documentary on stunt women. Again, Zoe Bell kicks ass and I was left craving more insight into her life.

Eden Lake - I've talked enough about this one in months past. BUY IT!

Gran Torino - Liked it even better the second time around. What a way for Eastwood to go out.

Growing Out - Interesting premise on paper, but I was not feeling this one at all.

Hitch Hike - 70's exploitation with David Hess as the bad guy. Need I say more? This one's more well done than most.

Jacob's Ladder - Total mind fuck. It'd been a good five years since I last saw this movie and I fell in love with it all over again.

Last House on the Left (1972) - One of my favorite horror flicks but it's admittedly pretty dated.

Last House on the Left (2009) - A perfect upgrade of the original, making Last House new again for our generation. Best horror movie i've seen this year so far.

Martyrs - Whoa! Forget what it's the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, I wanna know what was whispered at the end of Martyrs! This is the cinematic equivalent of a brutal rape, and I say that in a good way.

Masters of Horror : The Damned Thing - Decent episode until the shiteous CGI end.

Masters of Horror : Family - Another decent episode. Why am I so fascinated by the bloated and red faced George Wendt?

The Mist - Best ending of all time? Perhaps. This movie is a total experience that you really feel like you're a part of from beginning to end. Can't get enough!

The Mutilator - I love shitty corny horror movies, but this one didn't do much for me.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist - I liked it. Didn't fall in love, but I liked it.

Picnic at Hanging Rock - Forget what was whispered at the end of Martyrs, I wanna know what happened to these girls!! Overall a kind of boring and long winded flick, but totally fascinating.

Poultrygeist - One of Troma's best and like I said above, whether ya love 'em or ya don't, ya can't help but appreciate 'em!

Punisher : Warzone (twice) - This one provides everything you'd want it to provide and then some. Gory, action packed, well acted, and touching. This is the Punisher we've been waiting for.

Quarantine - I'm sorry I shit on this one before even watching it. It's as good as if not better than the kickass REC.

Revenge - There's just something about a Tony Scott flick that I love and this is now my second favorite behind True Romance.

Righteous Kill - Not nearly as good as a Deniro / Pacino movie should be, but I enjoyed it!

Smart People - Another one I just could not get into the groove of. I think i've had enough of the quirky dysfunction family dramadeys.

Torso - After years of hearing Eli Roth rant and rave about Torso, I finally watched it and i'm sad to report that it did nothing for me. There's a portion of it towards the end that's pretty tense and awesome, but it really wasn't much better than any of the other Giallo's out there.

Walled In - Crap, crap, crap.

The Wrestler - What more can I say that I haven't already said?

Zack & Miri Make a Porno - Liked it better this time around. The beers and friends I had with me while watching it this time did not hurt.

Favorite movie that I watched this month? That'd have to go to .....


REVENGE Unrated Director's Cut (1990)

I'm a total sucker for a good revenge flick and this is a damn good revenge flick. It's not a perfect movie as there's a few too many convenient coincidences that kinda hurt its credibility, but they can all be easily looked past. Unusually for a director's cut, this cut is actually shorter than the original release, making it more tense and less drawn out. I've never seen the longer version, but all I can say is that this version kicks some serious ass. Is it Tony Scott's masterpiece, as Quentin Tarantino states on the front cover? I think that honor would have to go to True Romance, which QT probably agrees with but is he really gonna say that a film he wrote is the best one Scott's ever made? That being said, Revenge is a close second for me. Seek this one out!


wiec? said...

thanks for these post Johnny. your movie month wrap up is just what i need when i go to netfliks and need a suggestion. Glad you liked Death Race. one of my favorites.

i saw the Dead Pool in the theatre when it came out and i should see that one again. all i remember is the remote control car chase and jim carrey lip synching welcome to the jungle. oh and the spear gun.

hitch hike and revenge sound pretty promising too. have to check those.

Johnny said...

Jim Carrey! Yes! Who even knew that he was in a Dirty Harry flick!

dragonmanes said...

Hey Johnny I will take you up on ANY screeners you would be able to get out of Troma, you can send Lloyd my regards, we met him in 2005 and I have a pic of the three of us in the ILHM picture albums! What might one need to do to qualify for the screeners? You can hit me back at or anywhere on ILHM, are you making it out to Fangoria in a couple of weeks?

Johnny said...

E-mail me your address at and i'll get one out to ya! Not gonna be at the LA Fango but i'll be at the one in NYC in June.

JAMES said...

Nice movies.... I enjoyed Punisher as exactly as you did, and I cant wait top see Last House on the Left.....