Wednesday, June 10, 2009

It's 2am....Let's Get a Little Sleazy!

Horror and sexuality have gone hand in hand all the way back to the earliest days of the genre. It's nothing new. But what is relatively new is the blending of horror and out and out pornography. And i'm not talking a tit here or an ass shot there, i'm talking full blown P-O-R-N. For anyone out there that refers to films like Hostel as "horror porn", YOU AINT SEEN NOTHIN YET! Here's just a little taste of the real horror porn out there in this sick and twisted (and wonderful) world of ours! Put the children to bed and enjoy (I know you will)!!

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TRAILER!

'The ultimate experience in sexual terror!'

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'The house that dripped cum!'

Join cult character Weazel Padowski (from Last House on the Left) in this trip to the other side of horror. See what would have happened if the director hadn't yelled 'cut'. With plenty of alarming anal, devious DP's and frightening facials, this cast of sexy scream queens may be scared...but not too afraid of cock!

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'It's not a dream. Samantha's back!'

The women of Dyke Street are troubled. Troubled by nightmares unlike any they've ever had before. Images of men doing the most sensual things to them. And what's worse, they're beginning to like it. Nightmare on Dyke Street. This sleepy little town will never be the same. Sweet dreams.

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This is the only plot description I found and I think it's enough....

A hardcore porno flick with a "horror movie" setting. Basically, that means that instead of people having sex, they're having sex with "zombie" make-up on....and sometimes not.

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'An island exposed to a nuclear fallout! A horny, mutant, cannibalistic zombie!'

A group of castaways wash ashore on a deserted island and are unaware that a sex-crazed radioactive monster is also on the island. He attacks and rapes several of the women, who die horrible deaths because his sperm is radioactive. The survivors must find a way to either escape the island or kill the monster.

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'Dr. Hubert Breast has a very good head on his shoulders....and another one on the dick in his pants!'

Re-Penetrator is the story of a stripper who, after being dead for twenty years, is resurrected back to life by perverted mad scientist Dr. Hubert Breast. Dr. Breast vaginally injects the long-dead, but exquisitely preserved, exotic dancer with special serum so the re-penetrated corpse will return from the VIP room in hell and crave nothing but sex. After, he injects her with an insatiable craving for balls and she fucks the mad scientist from the gurney to the grave.

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TRAILER!

A group of friends take a detour while traveling through rural Texas and encounter a vibrator-wielding maniac and his family. What happens next is beyond anyone's darkest imagination and will leave you speechless and horrified....

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'When the devil is inside, the power of Christ cumpels you!'

After all other exorcism methods fail, Father Merkin has no other option but to screw the hell (and the devil) out of a possessed woman, Regan Teresa MacFeel. Her Mother, Mrs. MacFeel, looks on helplessly until she succumbs to the evil and becomes possessed as well. Father Merkin is forced to fight for his life...with his genitals.
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UPDATE!! THE WHORES HAVE EYES!

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Well wasn't that fun! I'm pretty certain my life will officially be complete the moment I lay my eyes on Freddy Krueger penetrating a young woman not with his razor glove, but with his dildo glove. It's just too good to be true.

And for the record, I own half of these titles. Does that make me a bad person?

8 comments:

Wings said...

Um, interesting, I suppose, in a bizarre way. And I gotta say, that Porno Holocaust looks like it could almost be a real plot... nah... hahahaha

Cins said...

I think I just popped something laughing. This is AWESOME! Two best titles were Nightmare on Dyke Street and Re-Penetrator. Oh lord this is hilarious. BTW, here's an awesome article about the horror/porn comic Tarot. It has a haunted Vagina. Seriously... http://www.the-isb.com/?p=980
Bevin, a friend of Stac my mine sent me this link.

Johnny said...

haha thank you for that. I think I need to own that comic book. Right now!

I think nows the perfect time to mention this movie I own called Entrails of a Beautiful Woman. Towards the end, this giant skinless monster guy is taunting a Japanese businessman with his massive monster penis at which point the penis gets sucked into his body, turns into a vagina of sorts, and he then kills the Japanese man by sitting on his face. I shit you not! I'd make a post about it and include the clip but I don't want to push Blogger's censors too much! At least not right after this porn post!

Jason Takes Portland said...

Wow, thats about all I can say... Wow.

PS: I am sort of intruiged by Texas Vibrator Massacre, espeically on Blu Ray.

Also what about Zombie Strippers? I almost bought it used at Blockbuster.

Johnny said...

Zombie Stripper isn't porn although there is a lot of nudity. Awesome movie by the way. You can check out my review on the sidebar. Definetly pick it up!

Cins said...

Johnny...I need to see this movie. I should hunt it down for when stac comes to visit this month. I'm on the look out for something to break her brain!
*L* After that article I'm actually wanting to hunt down Tarot too. Any comic that has a haunted vagina? Yeah. THis I have to read

Jason>>Zombie Strippers is awesome. It has become one of my all time favorites.:)

porkhead said...

Good grief... I really might have to seek some of those badboys out. I can't believe I didn't know these films exist!

Bjornabo said...

The Texas Vibrator Massacre Cover art is great..

A lot of funny ways to try to make an X:Rated movie "popular" :)