The Final Destination - "This Is Lame"

Those are the words Jen leaned over and whispered into my ear about halfway through the movie and I really can't think of better words to sum up my thoughts on the fourth and hopefully final Final Destination. This rushed, unfunny, unoriginal, poorly written, and (incredibly) poorly acted piece of garbage is about as lame as it gets.

Now i'm not the biggest fan of the Final Destination franchise but the one thing I do dig about them is the unique and gory kills they bring to the table with each and every installment. That's really all I expected from this movie and if I got some awesome deaths, I would've left the theatre satisfied. All I wanted was some mindlessly entertaining fun. I wasn't asking for or expecting much at all, or so I thought. Not only are the kills in FD4 not cool and not very gory, they're also repetitive, full of piss poor CGI (which must look even worse in 2D), and again, totally LAME. A Final Destination movie without awesome and memorable kill scenes - what the fuck is the point? Even the opening racecar wreck scene, which is supposed to be the most badass go for the jugular scene of the entire movie (car crash from FD2, anyone?), fell totally flat. Talk about the ball being dropped big time. The movie pokes fun at itself and seems to know exactly what kind of movie it is and what it's there to do and yet it failed on almost every level to do what it was there to do. I'm pretty sure that is the very definition of lame.

Speaking of 'what the fuck is the point', what the fuck was the point of this movie anyway? It brings absolutely NOTHING new to the table and is pretty much a carbon copy of all the other Destination's. It's not even that I expected or needed something different than the formula we've already been presented for these movies but if you're not gonna relish in the cool kill scenes that that very formula paves the way for, then at least present some new ideas or angles to the story. DO SOMETHING JUST A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT! At least fool us into thinking this movie was made for a reason other than a monetary one. Granted it's in the very nature of a Final Destination movie to be completely predictable, but is that really fun any longer? It's nothing we haven't already seen before, and more than once at that. If the series didn't already jump the shark with the third installment, it DEFINETLY has now.

If it weren't for the 3D aspect, which was pretty well done (although not utilized enough) and for once didn't give me a headache, seeing this movie would've been a total waste of my money. The only good thing I can really say about it, aside from the 3D, was the opening credits sequence, which was brilliantly done and homaged several kills from the first three Destination's. If the best thing about a movie is the opening credits, something's a little bit wrong with that picture, wouldn't ya say?

A reader of mine, Mike Scott II, summed it up best with a comment he left me the other day : "The Final Destination couldn't suck more balls." You're right on the money, Mike.

By the way, how weird is it that DJ AM died on the very day this movie came out, less than a year after surviving a plane crash he by all means should not have survived? That's some freaky shit. As my dad said, watch out Travis Barker!