It's been a while since i've done a 'top list' of any kind and as I sat here gazing at the nipple tassel'd zombie chasing a businessman around a parking lot while watching the Zombieland trailer in anticipation for this Friday's release (cheap plug), the thought occured to me that we've seen some pretty sexy zombie babes in horror flicks over the years - so I started compiling a mental list in my head....
Here are, in my opinion, the top 10 sexiest zombies of all time. They may be undead, but I wouldn't kick 'em outta bed! That being said, i'm not sure i'd let 'em give me head....
10. Naked Zombie Walking Towards House - Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Although ya don't see much of her, and although her ass isn't even anything great, she is (as far as I know) the first nude zombie to appear on screen and for that alone she must be immortalized.
9. #9 - Land of the Dead
How fitting, eh? I don't even like baseball and a large portion of her face is missing, but I still have a crush on sweet little #9 and that's quite a testament to her sexiness. It doesn't hurt that the woman behind the make-up, Jennifer Baxter, is supermodel beautiful.
8. Emily - The Corpse Bride
So she's a stop motion action figure, big deal. If I was Victor, i'd have kicked Victoria to the curb and kept my ass in the underworld with this blue haired worm infested goddess and my dead dog.
7. Julie - Return of the Living Dead 3
Not many women can pull off the shards of glass sticking out of their body look - it's really something to be admired. Also gotta respect a woman who can carry on with her boob hanging out like it's no big deal. Then again, I have absolutely zero respect for Tara Reid so maybe that's only an attractive trait when the female in question is a glass infested zombie.
6. Sheri Moon Zombie
Ok, that was cheap, but I needed to fill a spot. There aren't exactly a surplus of hot dead chicks to choose from. Cut me some slack, will ya!
5. Tammy - Fido
She's been house trained, and this ups her several points on the sexy scale - she won't bite off more than she can....well, ya know!
4. Lillith - Zombie Strippers
The next best thing to Jenna Jameson in one of the greatest films of all time, it seems almost poetic that a girl with such a fascination for death becomes a member of the walking dead. Poetic and sexy as hell.
3. Lesbian Ghost Chicks - Return to House on Haunted Hill
They're lesbian ghost chicks, what more do I need to say? I'm not sure if they'd technically be seen as zombies, but is anyone gonna argue the inclusion of these fine rotting specimens on this list?
2. Trash - Return of the Living Dead
Like ya didn't see this one coming. Ms. Quigley had been the reigning queen of sexy zombie-dom until a certain ex-pornstar came along last year and grabbed that bull by the horns....
1. Kat - Zombie Strippers
Sorry Linnea, but Jenna topped you. Maybe it was the pole dancing, maybe it was the shooting pool balls out of her downstairs area (ok, it was DEFINETLY that), but no matter which way ya cut it, Jenna Jameson's Kat is the sexiest zombie of all time. She may not be as attractive as she used to be, but she makes one hell of a zombie!
The nameless girl who has sex with Dr. Hubert Breast in the Re-Animator porn spoof, Re-Penetrator. What, you haven't seen it yet?
Close But No Cigar
Suzanne (Linnea Quigley) from Night of the Demons. She's technically a mere demon and thus couldn't be included on this list, although one could argue that anyone who can stick a tube of lipstick into their nipple deserves to be on every top 10 list ever created, no matter the subject matter. Needless to say, I had to at least give her a shoutout.