FREDDY'S NEW MAKEUP
While I wish the entire Elm Street remake was one big expensive April Fool's joke, the main gripe I had with the movie, before even seeing it, was how pathetic and lame the makeup job on Jackie Earle Haley was. I love the guy but I just don't feel he was right for the part in terms of his stature and the makeup work the effects crew did on him was downright terrible and will go down in my mind as one of the most epic fails in horror history. Freddy was always the coolest looking horror villain out there and this was an opportunity to make him even more badass looking and introduce him to a whole new generation. I feel truly sad for the young folks whose only image of Freddy is a pathetic looking turtle faced dude. EPIC. FAIL.
HIGH TENSION'S TWIST ENDING
Goddamn I love High Tension. It's one of my favorite horror movies in recent years. And though I love it so much that I tend to look past the lame twist it ends on, I will still always wish it was just a mean looking dude as the killer rather than a hot lesbo chick who thinks she's a mean looking dude. High Tension is proof that a twist ending is not always the way to go ... and that every Cecile De France movie should have a masturbation scene.
BRUCE CAMPBELL TURNS DOWN THE BUBBA HO-TEP SEQUEL
After years of being in relatively crappy low budget horror flicks (no disrespect to Bruce or those movies), Bruce Campbell got the role of a lifetime in Don Coscarelli's Bubba Ho-Tep ... and he totally nailed the part, delivering the acting performance of his career. Sequel time rolls around and Bruce declines, forcing Coscarelli to slap the Elvis suit on Ron Perlman. I talked with Coscarelli at a convention a while back about this and he said Bruce made the decision because he wanted to continue working on his own projects. Really Bruce? You'd rather do stuff like My Name Is Bruce than a sequel to a great movie directed by a brilliant filmmaker? Can't help but feel like you're robbing both yourself and us of another great flick. But suit yourself.
RIVER OF DARKNESS
I grew up idolizing pro wrestlers Kevin Nash, Kurt Angle and Psycho Sid and I shed a little bitty tear inside for each of them when I saw the above trailer for their new horror flick River of Darkness (which just hit DVD this past Tuesday). I grew up thinking these guys were the coolest dudes on the planet and it's a real jolt of reality to see them in their old ages slapping on piss poor makeup in a desperate attempt to make a quick buck off a shitty no budget horror movie. Ah, who am I kidding? I'm dying to see this movie, just not for the reasons the filmmaker probably hoped!
MONSTERS HD GETS THE AXE
There has perhaps been no sadder day in the last few years of my life than the day I turned on my TV to watch MONSTERS HD and couldn't find it, soon after realizing that the channel went under. I used to love leaving the channel on in the background when I blogged and I was introduced and re-introduced to some really great stuff during its admirably long run. MONSTERS HD, I will always cherish and miss the many hours we spent together. Horror movies in high def at my disposal 24/7. Goddamn, life was good back then.
ROB ZOMBIE HEADS TO HADDONFIELD
I know i've bashed Zombie's Halloween flicks so many times already so i'm gonna try and keep this short. It's not that I feel Rob has lost any of his filmmaking flair these last couple years, I just think he's the kind of filmmaker who should stick to directing his own stuff. Look how awesome House of 1000 Corpses was. Look how totally mindblowingly amazing Devil's Rejects was. And then look at Halloween and H2. I truly believe he did the best he could do with both films, it's just that he never should've headed to Haddonfield in the first place. Zombie used to always be against directing a remake and I really wish he had stuck to his guns on that. Win me back with Lords of Salem, Rob. I have the utmost faith in ya.
THE LAST 15 YEARS OF WES CRAVEN'S CAREER
This is another one i've harped on a couple times before, but I couldn't not include it in this post. While I can't rag on the Scream sequels two much, being that I always had fun with those movies (at least I used to, haven't re-watched them in many many years), it's movies like Red Eye, Cursed and My Soul To Take that have really convinced me that Craven just doesn't have it in him anymore. The fact that those movies were made by the same guy who made Elm Street and Last House never ceases to amaze me. That being said, i'll always love Wes no matter what he does and i'm really pulling for him with Scream 4. I truly hope this is a return to form for Craven, though I can't say my hopes are too high. I'm CRAVEN it!
WALKING DEAD SEASON ONE LASTS SIX EPISODES!
Good god I was so into The Walking Dead and I was totally shocked when, 5 weeks in, the AMC announcer popped on the screen and announced that the following week's episode was the season finale. I guess I should've done my research and known that already but I was completely taken by surprise and so bummed that the season was such a short one. This October can't come soon enough!
ROMERO REPLACES SAVINI WITH A COMPUTER
George Romero is responsible for bringing us some of the greatest practical gore effects movies of all time, which is why it was so surprising and heartbreaking when I saw Land of the Dead on the big screen and found that the amazing Savini effects we came to know and love in the Dead flicks went the way of modern technology, making the movies suffer big time as a result. There's no greater proof of the fact that practical will always be better than CG than the last couple Romero '... of the Dead' movies. Please George, convince Savini to return for one last mega epic zombie hurrah for the both of ya.
HATCHET 2 PULLED FROM THEATRES ... AFTER ONE DAY
This is another one i've talked about a few times in the past but it still makes me sad. After the triumphant announcement that Hatchet 2 would be released UNRATED in AMC Theatres, the first unrated horror release in over two decades, the film was pulled from the theatre chain almost immediately. What started out as a big victory for the genre was quickly revealed to be further confirmation that we will probably never see horror the way we want to see it on the big screen again. When I heard the news, I could literally envision studio execs sitting around greenlighting more PG-13 horror. The silver lining to this one is that I rushed my ass out to the city the day of release, so I got to enjoy it in all its glory like so few were able to/bothered to. It's a night i'll always cherish.