Though generally considered a steady and loyal girlfriend of the Christmas season, i've just uncovered something that'll forever change the way you look at egg nog. Forget that whole loyal girlfriend thing, the cold hard truth is that egg nog is a dirty nasty cheating little slut.
Armed with this knowledge, my love for her has only grown.
I'm kinda buzzed at the moment and I don't exactly remember how I uncovered what i'm about to share with you, but I think I was Googling around the web on the hunt for that scene from Santa's Slay where Bill Goldberg dunks Fran Drescher's burnt head into a party punch bowl filled with egg nog. Least that's the only thing I can think of that'd possibly lead me down the road of somehow making a connection between horror and a Christmas dessert beverage.
In any event, seeing as how I find it very hard to form written thoughts while intoxicated, i'm gonna turn the remainder of this post into a picture book. Behold ...
HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKIN' EGG NOG!!
It seems several dairy farms 'round the country produce their own versions of Halloween egg nog around the Halloween season every year and from this point forward I personally vow to both you and myself that come next Halloween I will make it my mission to track down and consume a carton of this elusive treat. Forget that whole trick or treating at the Myers house thing, this is now my number one Halloween bucket list goal and I will stop at nothing in my quest to cross it off. Mark my words; this beard will have goblin nog dripping off it come October 2012. It is my destiny.
Between Halloween trees & orange and black Christmas lights, i'm totally loving this takeover of the Christmas season by the spooks and ghouls of All Hallow's Eve. Let's keep this shit up!!