Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Drive Angry ... In The Comfort Of Your Own Home!!


Just like I said when I posted my brief thoughts back when I saw it in the theatre, I know it's not horror but once again I simply cannot resist mentioning Drive Angry. Reason being, it just hit DVD & Blu-ray today. In fact, it not only hit DVD & Blu-ray but also 3D Blu-ray, for those who are into that sorta thing. You can go back in time a couple months and read my mini review if ya want my thoughts or I can just leave it at this ...

Drive Angry is a fuckin' wild and totally out of control blast of a movie. To the males reading this right now, I cannot urge you enough to pick up a copy, gather some friends together and have one hell of a blood soaked and action packed night. It's got everything a man could ever want from an action flick; Nic Cage in the kinda role he was born to play (a badass action hero with hair that kicks as much ass as he does), Tom Atkins in the kinda role he was born to play (a super cool sheriff with a majestic mustache), William Fichtner in the kinda role he was born to play (a scene stealing Satan), Amber Heard in the kinda role she was born to play (a sexy as all hell chick with a mean streak) as well as guns, fast cars, devil worship, gore, tits, ass and even the consumption of booze from a hunk of a dude's skull. What the fuck are you waitin for!?

Get your ass in gear and DRIVE ANGRY today!!

Amityville Week : Amityville 3D


This, the last theatrically released film from the franchise, takes a bit of a different route than the first two installments and comes off more like a generic (and bad) haunted house movie than it does an Amityville film, at least as we knew them up until this point. Amityville 3D is about an investigative journalist and single father who moves into the house, in an effort to prove once and for all that no evil lurks inside of it. Obviously, as everyone but him knows, he is quite wrong. Changing the whole Modus operandi of the house from everything we had previously been shown in parts 1 & 2, the house doesn't possess its owner but rather finds ways to kill off anyone else who comes into the house, including his daughter. It's a total departure for the franchise both in this regard and in quality, as the magic and charm of the first two installments is completely gone for this third go around. It's rather ironic that the film has an Omen-esque subplot about pictures taken before people's death revealing their tragic fates because when I just looked at a picture of myself taken shortly before I sat down to watch the movie, I appear to be sound asleep in it, even though I was wide awake at the time. Yes, that was my roundabout way of saying the film bored me to sleep. Does this franchise really die after only two parts? It's sure looking that way.

One thing i'm quickly noticing about the franchise that i'm not at all digging is the total lack of continuity from one film to the next. While the sequel, or prequel rather, totally at times disregards the events of the first film, so too does this one. In fact, this third installment even seems to disregard the events of the second film, with one character talking about the original murders that took place in there and referring to them as being committed by Ron DeFeo, rather than by Sonny Montelli, as the character is called in the prequel. It's as if every installment is supposed to be a totally standalone tale of its own centered around the house, which I guess makes sense being that the house is the real star of these things. But still, it would be nice to see even a tiny shred of continuity or even the vaguest allusion to the fact that Margot Kidder and James Brolin lived in the house before the dude buys it this time around. It's becoming pretty clear to me that the franchise was quickly taken over by filmmakers who saw the house merely as a cash cow, rather than by people who truly cared enough to connect the dots and make the franchise actually feel like a franchise. Big thumbs down for this lack of care and continuity.

Amityville 3D, as I said above, really doesn't even feel like an Amityville film at all. While one could argue that it's kinda cool that the filmmakers decided to go in a bit of a different direction, which I totally appreciate, the only thing that even ties it into the previous two installments is the house itself. And maybe some 3D flies. The movie seems to want to focus on anything but the creepiness of the house, instead treating us to endless scenes of characters having boring conversations with each other ... OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE. Even when the characters are in the house, the scenes are mostly set in the daytime, which totally sucks any scares or suspense out of the proceedings. Sad being that this is the last film of the franchise to actually be set in the infamous house (more on that in a second), as the house and its sordid past was totally squandered in favor of a lame and generic haunted house movie.

In the stupidest move in horror franchise history, the Amityville house is blown to pieces at the end of this flick, which sets the remaining five sequels on an unavoidable path of stupidity. Though I haven't yet seen any of those later sequels yet, i'm starting to think that the franchise probably should've ended here, if not with Part 2. It's not like this is a Friday The 13th movie and killing Jason off in an installment simply means that the next filmmaker to take the reigns has to find a clever way to bring him back to life. This is the Amityville Horror and when that house is blown to shit, the whole franchise is pretty much blown to shit along with it. Aside from having someone come along and totally rebuild the house exactly as it was, which would make little to no sense, the only ways to continue the series would be to bastardize the whole thing and go down some seriously lame routes, which seems to be exactly what happened. After this one, everything from lamps to clocks to mirrors from the original house serve as vessels for the return of the evil that was once housed inside of it and, eventually, a final desperate attempt to restore the franchise to its former glory sees a child's playhouse, modeled after the house, bringing evil upon a family. Now i'm not gonna judge any of these sequels until I see them, but man oh man, what a stupid move to blow up that house in only the third installment. Was the thrill of bringing a 3D explosion to the big screen really worth flushing the whole franchise down the toilet?

The only really notable things about Amityville 3D are a few familiar faces that round out the cast, including a young Meg Ryan (her 2nd film role), before she was nipped and tucked to the point that she looks more like The Joker than the cute girl next door she once was. Also in there is Lori Loughlin, who you probably remember as Aunt Becky from Full House. The best scene in the whole thing, in fact the only memorable or creepy scene in the entire 90 minutes, sees her character enter the house soaking wet, where she is greeted by her mother, who is completely unaware of what we're simulatenously being shown; her daughter has actually just drowned in the lake behind the house. The other familiar face is Land of the Dead's Robert Joy, who towards the end ironically suffers a similar burn as the one he sports in Land. Is it worth watching just to see a few people you recognize? Absolutely not, but I figured they were worth a mention.

Anyways, i've probably gone on far too long with this one. The movie is a total bore, lacking both the respective scares and cool effects of its predecessors, and i'm really starting to worry about the crap that's in store for me the rest of this week. Suffice to say, it's easy to see why the franchise went the direct to video route after this one.

I should note that though Amityville 3D was filmed in 3D, it was only shown in that form during its theatrical release and is only available in three dimensions via the UK DVD, despite the fact that the US one deceptively touts it as being 'Amityville 3D'. Even if you're a 3D buff I wouldn't try and seek out that UK DVD, as the only uses of the gimmick seem to be characters awkwardly thrusting long objects into the camera. It's not as sexy as it sounds, ladies.

Amityville Week : Amityville's Biggest Fan?

When I first thought up the idea for an Amityville Horror themed week, a friend of mine's tattoo immediately came to mind and I just knew I had to work it into the festivities somehow. So I figured i'd show off his killer Amityville inspired ink and let him tell ya a little bit about what made him want to get one of the most iconic horror movie images of all time permanently etched onto his body. His name's Nick Graystone and though this isn't his only horror movie themed tattoo, not by a longshot, it's certaintly my favorite of his. Check out Nick's inner bicep ode to Amityville Horror and find out what possessed him to get the ink. Did the Devil make him do it!? I'll let Nick explain!

**Done by Ron Bianco of Lone Wolf Tattoo in Bellmore, NY**

I've always been fascinated by the house. My Mom and Dad took me there on the regular as a child. I've seen the movie countless times. One of the first places I went to after I got my drivers license was 112 Ocean Ave. Amityville, NY. Every first or second date, oh yeah, I'd either swoon or mortify a young gal by taking her there. Just something bout the eeriness of the whole story. Growing up, more the Italian part, I'd hear stories of evil spirits lurking in my house or my grandmother's house. Now as far as these so called spirts having me slaughter my whole family, I think not. (I got the tattoo) to permanently display my "High Hopes" ... we all share those. Because of zoning laws and not being a millionaire, I was unable to fufill my Amityville dream of purchasing the house and turning it into a Bed/Breakfast Tour Spot ala Lizzie Borden.

Goddamn, why can't somebody cool like Nick own that house? Who wouldn't love to eat waffles while looking out those creepy eye-like upstairs windows!? More syrup, please!


Nick (the one who's not a killer child molesting clown) is the lead singer of a band called Martians From Uranus and you can watch/listen to him rock out over on his YouTube channel. He's also got some other cool little goodies on there, so be sure to check the channel out. Thanks for sharing, Nick. Your levels of fandom make me jealous!

The Cereal Killers Winner Is ...


I normally announce giveaway winners over on the Freddy In Space Facebook page but since i've gotten several e-mail's from people asking when i'm going to be picking and announcing the winner for this one, I figured i'd do it right here. A whopping 56 entries came in, which is a pretty high number in relation to some of the other giveaways i've had in the past couple years, and a lot of folks seemed genuinely excited about the possibility of winning this full uncut sheet of kickass Cereal Killers cards. So I just want to first thank Wax Eye for being so awesome and supplying such an incredible prize. You guys rock and I sincerely await a series 2 with baited breath and I can only hope you'll be willing to part with a sheet of those once they're released so that we can do this again!

Without further adieu, the winner of the uncut sheet of cards, which was chosen by the website RANDOM.ORG, issssss ....


Congratulations, James! Your sheet of cards will be on its way to you before ya know it!

Thanks to all who entered. Head over to Wax Eye to pick up your boxes of Cereal Killers trading cards today!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Amityville Week - Amityville 2 : The Possession


Though billed as a prequel to The Amityville Horror, The Possession is actually only loosely based on the real life DeFeo crimes that preceded that film (and events during it contradict those from the opening of the original), instead focusing on the fictional Montelli family who have very much the same dynamic and fate as the DeFeo's did (even still, a blurb during the end credits assures us that any relation to real people is purely coincidental ... mhmm). Taking elements from the first Amityville and mixing them in with ingredients from The Exorcist and even The Evil Dead at times, Amityville 2 takes the Ronnie DeFeo possessed by demons theory and runs with it, exploring that 'what if?' scenario in grand and theatrical fashion. While certaintly not as good of a movie or as well told of a story as the first Amityville was, Amityville 2 is full of charms of its own, making it a far different but equally watchable experience.

Watching the first and second films in this franchise back to back is quite interesting and this is the first time i've ever actually done that. Made in the late 70's, the first trip into the house with the creepy windows is very much a 70's horror film, while this prequel, made in 1982, is very much an 80's horror film. Now that may seem like common sense but it's really fascinating to see that progression from the 70's style of horror to the 80's style and this franchise highlights that change perhaps better than any other (though Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes to mind as well). While the 70's were generally more about slow burn and reserved storytelling, 80's horror was more fast paced and focused more on exciting and fun visuals where you saw more of everything and makeup FX artists were really put through the ringer. Amityville's 1 and 2 fit these two differing horror filmmaking styles, respectively, to an absolute tee. Very interesting how two films, from the same franchise and made just a few years apart, can highlight that decade to decade shift so well.

Amityville 2 is total 80's horror, chock full of some pretty kickass practical makeup effects, and I for one find it to be more of a fun and entertaining watch than its predecessor. Now don't get me wrong, the first Amityville is a far better film and I do overall like it more, but when it comes purely to fun and entertainment, 80's horror almost always beats out 70's horror for me and this one is no exception. The Possession is another win for writer Tommy Lee Wallace, who went on to (partially) pen and direct Stephen King's IT as well as write/direct the eternally underrated and awesome Halloween 3 : Season of the Witch. Bolstered by a solid and immensely hateable performance by Rocky's Burt Young and featuring everything from a bizarre incest subplot to a plethora of over the top and gloriously 80's demonic possession sequences, Amityville 2 is defintely worth a watch, though the total shift in vibe from the first may be a turn off for some and may in fact explain a lot of the negativity that's been hurled towards it over the years.


Must mention something rather interesting that Jen noticed and pointed out to me around the 34 minute mark that I had never noticed before. While Sonny Montelli is hearing things and roaming around the house with a shotgun in tow, he stops in a doorway and the camera does a 360 degree flip on him. During this scene, what appears to be a small child's feet appear in the frame and then quickly back up out of it, which adds a highly creepy little element to the moment. Now I have no idea if this was intentionally put in there to be a subliminal scare or if this was just one of the cast members who accidently got too close to the shot, but it's pretty interesting and creepy nonetheless. Perhaps it's the real life spirit of one of the murdered DeFeo children? We may never know!

Tweet of the Week!


Though I don't actually 'tweet' much these days (aside from my blog auto-posting new entries on there), I still prowl around Twitter (FOLLOW ME & i'll try and utilize it more!) and read other peoples tweets on a fairly consistent basis. I follow a lot of people in the horror community on there and I always like to read what my favorite genre actors/filmmakers are up to. They often share pretty funny and interesting little nuggets of info and thus, i've decided to kickstart this little weekly segment here on the blog devoted to the most interesting tweet from a horror personality that I come across each week. Hey, Twitter's the popular thing these days and who am I to not jump on the bandwagon?!

I don't think it will surprise you much to see who the first Tweet of the Week comes from ...


Got a death threat from a horror fan once because Hatchet 2 made him cry during Crowley's backsory and "feelings are lame!" - @Adam_Fn_Green

At Yard Sales, No One Can Hear You Scream!

Though you can almost always cut the awkwardness with a knife, I absolutely love going to yard sales. You just never know what you're gonna find and though you mostly only find other people's dirty and used crap, there are always exceptions. Case in point, a couple years back there was a yard sale right down the road from me that was being run by a woman who had previously owned a video shop ... a video shop with a MASSIVE horror VHS selection. She was selling all the tapes for $1 a piece and I spent a good portion of that weekend over there, rifling through hundreds upon hundreds of tapes including rare stuff like The Town That Dreaded Sundown (which I later sold for $25 when I was strapped for cash). Needless to say, it was awesome and I came away from that weekend with a plethora of goodies. Pretty much every weekend of every summer since then I try and pass that house to see if another yard sale is going on, but to no avail thus far. That being said, i've come to find out that the woman running the yard sale is actually the mother of my parents' next door neighbor, who we kinda know. Next time I see her i'm definitely going to ask if her mom still has any tapes and if she'd let me stop by and take a peek.

In any event, I have one cool yard sale find to show off from this past weekend's scavenging. Behold, one of the old school Kenner Aliens figures of none other than Lt. Ripley!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Scored this for five bucks, though the old dude selling it was originally looking for $10 for it. I talked him down to six and then decided to bargain with him even more to get it down to five. At first he refused and then he broke down and proposed we compete in some kind of game of chance. If I won, he'd sell it to me for five. If I lost, the price would remain six dollars ... truth be told, I still probably would've bought it either way. I suggested we play rock, paper, scissors and I wiped the floor with him the first two rounds, allowing me to walk away with the figure for a mere five smackers. Go me! The package is pretty beat up and i'm aware that I could probably get a mint condition one for a similar price online, but seeing something like this at a yard sale is just something I can't walk away from.

I just love these old school figures and still find it so fascinating that big name toy companies back in the day actually made action figures based on horror movies. Yes, there are a lot more horror movie figures made these days, but they're always by specialty companies that were created specifically to make genre figures. The fact that a company like Kenner was whipping out Aliens figures is just so cool to me and it really goes to show a serious lack of iconic characters in the more recent days of horror films. Where have all the cool monsters and action figure worthy movies gone?!


By the way, did you know that Kenner released Alien vs Predator figure two packs way back in 1993, over a decade before the movie ever came to fruition? How cool is that!?

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Set Your Clocks To 3:15 ... Amityville Week Begins Tommorow!!


Just a quick reminder that Amityville Week kicks off tommorow here on Freddy In Space, a weeklong journey through the seven Amityville Horror sequels that will finally force my ass to get in gear and actually sit down and watch them all ... most of them for the very first time. As I said, there will also be some other little goodies including a giveaway and a rundown of a couple future Amityville film projects that are currently in the works. Should be a fun ... I mean, totally nerve shattering and frightening ... little week!

In preparation I re-watched the original Amityville tonight, which I hadn't done in a few years. Though it is fairly slow moving and admittedly a tad boring at times, I absolutely love watching that movie and getting swept up in the super creepy atmosphere of it all. I love Margot Kidder's little scantily clad stretching scene. I love James Brolin's beard. I love how he makes tighty whiteys look cool. I love that haunting score. I love the kickass headgear the babysitter sports. I love watching that nun shoot hoops. I love those little clay-like growths Kidder spawns on her face after she touches the upside down cross. I just love it all!

By the way I know i've mentioned this a few times in the past, but I actually live about 45 minutes from the house where the infamous Amityville murders took place in. Naturally, i've been to the location a couple times. Before I watch and review Amityville 2 tommorow, TAKE A TRIP WITH ME back to the very first time I visited the house back in 2009!

See ya tommorow!

Heeeeeeeerrrre's Johnny ... Five!

Tee Fury's shirt of the day today is one I think you folks are gonna like. It's The Shining meets Short Circuit and it's only available until midnight tonight, so be sure to snatch yours up quick if ya dig it!


While we're at it, check out some other horror inspired T's from the Tee Fury Graveyard!

Paranormal Activity ... On VHS?!


After a night of heavy drinking, I often wake up very early and find myself unable to fall back asleep, which usually leads to me looking up random things on Wikipedia and filling my head with knowledge in an effort to drive out the pounding headache my bad decisions from the night prior brought upon me. This morning was no exception. As I looked through Wikipedia's page on the history of VHS, something veddy interesting caught my eye ...

"After a petition on the website WeWantVHS.com, Paranormal Activity had a very limited VHS release in the United States[34] and the Netherlands."

Now I know Wikipedia can be edited by seemingly anyone and is often full of fallacies (not phalluses), but does anyone know anything about this? I'd be kinda surprised if this is a true statement, being that i've never heard anything about it and can't find any information on the net about it (WeWantVHS.com seems to have gone under), but I remain hopeful.


Saturday, May 28, 2011

I Only Support 3D If You Get Cool Glasses ...

I think i've made it pretty crystal clear by now, at least 20 times over in fact, that I don't care for the current resurgence of the 3D trend. I was excited by it for about 3 minutes, back in the early 90's when I was but a small child, but it simply has done nothing for me from that moment forward. Regardless, I wish that at least companies would put some effort into making cool collectible 3D glasses to go along with their releases, like we got back in the old days. Sure the trend has been upgraded to those REAL D glasses that make everyone look like George Burns but even on the DVD/Blu-ray releases of new films made in 3D, all we get are lame glasses that at best have the movie's logo stamped on them. Boooooring.

Here are four awesome pairs of 3D glasses that other companies need to learn from ...


Capitalizing on the 3D gimmick to the fullest extent that the law allows, the 1961 Canadian horror film The Mask featured a character who would experience surreal dream visions whenever he put on an ancient mask. When you went to the theatre to see the movie, you were given a cardboard 'Magic Mystic Mask' (remind anyone else of Stripe from Gremlins?), which you would put on whenever the character put on his mask, allowing you to experience the dream visuals in three dimensions. Now that's a kickass use of 3D that would make William Castle proud!


Much more subtle but just as awesome. Love the fact that wearing these makes it look like Bruce is not so playfully gnawing on your nose. I've got a big Armenian one, so I think he'd be pretty satisfied with that meal.


How cool is that? These glasses, from the original theatrical release of Friday : Part 3, make the wearer look like they're actually getting spear jabbed in the eye by a hairy armed figure that I wouldn't necessarily refer to as Jason Voorhees. The whole appeal of 3D is that it makes you feel like you're a part of the movie and these glasses totally exploit that fact to serious levels of awesome. Gotta love it.


The more recent Deluxe Edition re-release of Friday Part 3 changed the design from victim to villain, making the wearer look like Jason himself rather than one of his many hapless drunken sex crazed victims. These are totally stylish and i'd probably rock them in public if red and blue 3D glasses didn't make me want to blow chunks the minute I put them on.

... is it so much to ask?!

Freddy vs Jason vs Ash ... Watch NOW!


Though a film was at one point planned, the only way we've gotten to see Freddy, Jason and Ash actually do battle has been in comic book form ... until now. Trent Duncan has just unleashed his FvJvA fan film upon the world and, surprisingly for a fan film, it's pretty damn well made. It's not without its flaw and crappy elements (Freddy's voice, for one), but all three icons look pretty good, which is more than I can say for the majority of fan films, and it's an entertaining little 15 minute short with a cool Jason kill and a serviceable storyline which sees Freddy and Jason working together to get Ash hand delivered to them via the Book of the Dead, so they can have their way with him. Of course, by the end of things, all three end up battling it out, capped off by a surprise horror icon appearance at the end which hints at things to come from Duncan. Check out the full short below!

If you dug this, you can pre-order a DVD copy of it, which comes with behind the scenes footage, for $8 over on the official website. It will ship out starting June 15th.

Name That Movie : The VHS Box Art Edition!

How well do you know your old school horror VHS box art? I've used my expert MS Paint skills to remove the titles, taglines and sometimes even cast lists from 10 different vintage horror VHS boxes. Your job is to fill in the discolored blanks and tell me the names of as many of these movies as you can. Leave your answers in the comments section below!

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Friday, May 27, 2011

8 Other Upcoming Shark Attack Movies To Be Excited About ... Or Not

In addition to the afformentioned Shark Night 3D, there are (at least) eight other shark attack horror movies slated for release throughout this year and into next. Starring everyone from Jimmie JJ Walker to Hulk Hogan's daughter to Troll 2's George Hardy and featuring mega sized sharks as well as sharks terrorizing grocery stores and snow covered mountains, i'd say it's going to be a pretty DYN-O-MITE next year or so for fans of killer sharks. Here's everything you need to know about these eight upcoming razor toothed flicks, including trailers for the ones where trailers have been released!


Premiering June 25th on Syfy, naturally, is this pretty self explanatory movie about a shark ... terrorizing a swamp. Just when you thought alligators and Victor Crowley were the only things to fear in there! In a strange turn of events for Syfy, this one looks to feature a mechanical shark rather than a CGI one, at least in some parts. Battling that shark this time around in Syfy's ring? Robert Davi (the villain from The Goonies) and Kristy Swanson, who previously appeared in another shark attack movie, 2003's Red Water. Hey, i'm all for any movie that gets Swanson in a bikini, so let's keep casting her in these!


The most ambitious and promising looking of the bunch is this one, directed by Resident Evil : Extinction's Russell Mulcahy. With the totally original premise of sharks picking off victims in a mostly underwater supermarket, which has just been hit by a giant tsunami, Bait 3D looks to be absolutely must see cinema for the shark attack fan. The Australian made film is set for release over there November of this year, with no date that I know of yet set for a US release. Watch the official trailer above and also be sure to check out a pretty kickass concept trailer Mulcahy made a while back, which gives you a better idea of what he's going for.


Rather than ripping off Jaws, like most of these have chosen to do, Ghost Shark 2 instead aims to spoof it. When I chatted with Troll 2 star George Hardy earlier this year, who will appear in the film, he had this to say about the plot and release date : "(It's a) Jaws spoof, yes. Something like the mayor of the city's trying to ... i'm not sure, but it's something about this ghost shark that's about to eat the city up or something. There's a really bad mayor of the city and we're in charge of trying to kill him. Cause he's evil and the evil mayor has something to do with this ghost shark." The film will also star actors from The Room and Birdemic, two of the other 'best worst movies' ever made, which should give you an idea of the vibe they're going for with it. And no, there never was a Ghost Shark 1.



As awesome as this might sound based on the title, I have to unfortunately break the news that this one won't star The Situation, Snooki or any of the actual cast of The Jersey Shore. In fact, little is known about the movie other than it will premiere on Syfy sometime in 2012 and will feature buffed up, tanned and gelled Jersey-ites battling a killer shark. Little fun factoid (and what's more fun than people being eaten by sharks?) : back in 1916, there were a series of real life shark attacks along the Jersey Shore. Unfortunately, none of the Jersey Shore castmember's bloodlines were brought to an end back then. I kid, I kid. I actually am a Jersey Shore fan, believe it or not. In any event, let's move right along here ...



While shark attack movies usually feature washed up stars and atrocious young actors, Dark Tide will star Oscar winner Halle Berry, as a diving instructor who returns to the water after a near fatal attack. No idea when this will be released but you can hold yourself off by checking out a slew of pictures of Halle in a bikini and skin tight wetsuit that have made their way off the set. No wonder that shark wants to eat her so bad!


It's Jaws on ice in Snow Shark, which sees an ancient beast emerging from the fluffy white stuff to wreak havoc on a group of tasty bad actors. Hey, snow is just frozen water, so it's believable, right? This one is noteworthy because it will feature a cameo by my friend and fellow blogger Bill Adcock from Radiation Scarred Reviews. It's also produced by Slime City's Greg Lamberson. Not sure when we'll be able to see this one, but you can follow all the latest goings on with it over on the Snow Shark Facebook page.



The sharks move from water to sand in this one, a hybrid of Tremors and Jaws which stars Corin Nemec and Brooke Hogan, daughter of the Hulkster. Story goes that an underground earthquake cracks open a crater beneath the ocean and unleashes a horde of hungry land sharks. Whatcha gonna do, when .... oh, never mind. Though principal photography was completed a few months back, no trailer or release date have been released.


Following the recent trend of genetically modified mega sea creatures, Super Shark stars not only Jimmie JJ Walker and Superman's dad but also the biggest CGI shark ever seen in a movie. Oh and it flies. And walks on land. And gets dropkicked by a big robot. WATCH. THIS. TRAILER. Can't seem to find any release date info on this one, though it looks to be a slice of D-Movie heaven that's sure to become an instant cult classic.

Shark Night 3D : We're Gonna Need a Better Title


Way back in 1975, before most of us were even born, Steven Spielberg made audiences across the world terrified of ever stepping foot in the water, a fear that still resonates for many almost four decades later. In recent years, that fear has given way to laughter as the sub-genre of shark horror has taken a turn for the whimsical, with movies like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Megalodon and Sharktopus being pretty much the only places to go for some sweet shark on human action. Now it's well documented that I love those types of movies, but I can't lie, i've been waiting for the return of serious and vicious shark horror for quite some time (I dig Open Water, but I need see more!).

When I initially heard about Shark Night 3D, I assumed it was going to be another Syfy/Asylum type movie, as the lame title would suggest. But holy hell the trailer just debuted this week and I gotta say, it looks completely fucking awesome. Could this be the return of shark horror i've been waiting for? Check out the trailer and see for yourself!

Joel David Moore, Sara Paxton, a badass shark and a unique Eaten Alive-esque spin on the subject matter that sees a killer using that shark to do his dirty work? I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like an equation for pure winning. This looks like the kind of serious and menacing shark horror movie that has been lost to humor and cheesiness in recent times. Consider me very excited for what could potentially be waiting for me at the theatre on September 2nd.

By the way, the egoist inside of me can't hit the "Publish Post" button without mentioning something. I'm not saying Shark Night 3D stole my idea, unless the writers somehow managed to find the notebook that lurks somewhere in my basement that even I have been unable to track down, but I actually had an idea for a horror movie years ago about a killer that keeps a big shark in his pool, which he uses as his murder weapon, throwing his victims into the pool to be eaten all up. I was never going to do anything with the idea, as my laziness prevents me from doing anything with the many cool ideas i've had over the years, so i'm glad to see that someone else has come along with the same idea and ran with it!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Cool Shit On Etsy : VHS Wallets!

Not that I support the mutilation of VHS boxes, but there's just something about storing my money and the credit cards nobody will approve me for in the same vessel that previously housed a VHS cassette that makes me want to take out my wallet and buy a new goddamn wallet. Check out these awesome recycled VHS box wallets that Etsy seller BlockbusterGraveyard (human name Lindsay Wailes) is whipping up in her shop!



On the horror front Lindsay currently has wallets made from Hellraiser 2, Critters, Aliens and Candyman VHS boxes, though i'm sure she'd be happy to make your dreams of owning a Microwave Massacre wallet come true if you'd send her over the box. Head over to BlockbusterGraveyard to buy your own, for a mere $8.00 a piece!

You know you wanna steal this shit, Urban Outfitters ....

Yay or Nay? The Ward


On Tuesday, the official US trailer for The Ward hit the net, debuting to much excitement on the horror news sites even though it's exactly the same trailer that was billed as the UK one several months back. Oh well, at least that cool poster is new. Now stop trying to look up Amber Heard's dress, all you boys who love her so.

The Ward is of course the upcoming new horror flick from the master himself, John Carpenter, which is set to hit stateside On Demand on June 8th followed by a limited theatrical release on July 8th (since when does Carpenter get the 'limited' treatment?!). Let's check out the trailer and find out who's awaiting these dates with baited breath! (What the hell does that expression mean, anyway?)

While this one is most definetly a resounding YAY for me, I can't lie and say it so much has to do with the trailer. Truth be told, if I knew nothing about who made the movie and saw this same trailer, without the words "From John Carpenter" that appear in it, i'd probably yawn, close out the YouTube window, and likely forget entirely about the movie as soon I hit that little X in the corner. It just doesn't look very original or "must see" and it's hard to get excited about based on anything other than the fact that is making me lean more towards the YAY side of things; it's directed by John motherfuckin' Carpenter, his first feature film since 2001's Ghosts of Mars. Yep, it's been 10 years since Carpenter has directed anything other than that lackluster Masters of Horror episode about abortions. Like all the great directors of years past, Carpenter's career has certaintly taken a bit of a dip over the years, but not even Ice Cube batting alien zombie ghosts can change the fact that he's one of the ultimate masters of modern horror, a fact that makes me relatively excited about this film despite how lackluster it looks to me. So ya, I give this one a hopeful YAY, even if i've heard the reviews haven't been very enthusiastic (I am trying to refrain from actually reading any).

What say you? Are you looking forward to taking a trip to The Ward or are you unable to muster up any excitement for it? Leave a comment and let me know!

On a little related side note that's worth mentioning, director Lucky McKee took to his Facebook page this week, after seeing the trailer, to mention how it seems to be very similar to his own film, The Woods. He's not accusing Carpenter of stealing and even admits that he's the one who has aped from Carpenter in the past, but it's a pretty interesting little note that certaintly holds some water. Check out the trailer for The Woods to see what he means and give that film a watch if ya haven't yet!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

12 Tips For Staying Alive This Summer!

Mere days away from June, today was the first day (in my hometown at least) that it actually felt like Summer was truly on its way. After what has seemed like an eternity spent in snowy, rainy and cold weather, the sun finally shone bright today, making me break a sweat and even acquire a slight golden brown hue. It was glorious. But amidst all that glory and fun, we must remember that Summer can also be dangerous ... very dangerous. In fact, in the world of horror movies, it's the most dangerous season of all. Here are 12 tips from horror movies new and old that will ensure you make it through Summer 2011. Follow them closely and you should enter the Fall alive and well, with all of your limbs intact!

1) Don't Go Tanning (Final Destination 3)

2) Don't Mow The Lawn (Sleepaway Camp 3)

3) Don't Barbecue (Final Destination 2)

4) Don't Go Boating (Jaws)

5) In Fact, Don't Go In The Water At All (Piranha 3D)

6) ... Not Even In A Pool (The Prowler)

7) ... Or A Hot Tub (Halloween 2)

8) Don't Eat Ice Cream (Ice Cream Man)

9) Don't Go Camping (Friday The 13th : Part 7)

10) Don't Sit Around A Bonfire (Friday The 13th Remake)

11) Don't Drink Any Fresh Squeezed Lemonade ... No Matter How Cute The Kids Are Who Made It (Cabin Fever)

12) Don't Go To The Amusement Park (Zombieland)


So have fun this Summer ... doing absolutely nothing!!!

Fright Rags + Adam Green : A Beautiful Marriage

When it comes to the world of horror, there are two things that I love perhaps more than anything else; the shirts made by Fright Rags and the films made by Adam Green. When I first heard the news that these two forces were going to ... join forces ... I was beside myself with excitement. A blood soaked marriage of two of my favorite things on this planet ... how often does something so awesome as that actually happen? The thought of Fright Rags and Adam Green working together to make a line of kickass horror shirts gives me what we call in the geek business a nerd boner, a boner so large it has drained the majority of the blood from my (other) head and thus, rendered me quite speechless. The first three shirts from the line debuted on Fright Rags' site last night and though they're shirts most of us have already seen or perhaps even own, they are only the beginning ...




These three shirts were formerly available from the website of Green's production company, Ariescope Pictures, who have inked a deal with Fright Rags for them to now be sold EXCLUSIVELY through them. What's awesome about this is the fact that when they were sold by Ariescope, it took many weeks for orders to be shipped out, being that Ariescope was more equipped for making films then sending out t-shirts. Now that they're being sold by Fright Rags, orders will be sent out in the same timely fashion we've come to expect from them, allowing Adam Green fans much more convenient and fast paced access to them.

But again, these shirts are only the beginning of this marriage, as the two are currently working together to create brand new original art for new shirts based on Green's movies, which will finally give us all the Frozen and Hatchet shirts we've been craving. So get your Hatchet Army, Jack Chop and decapitated Adam Green shirts for $19.95 and be on the lookout for much more Adam Green style fun from Fright Rags in the near future!

Forget William and Kate. This is the motherfuckin' royal wedding!!