Saturday, April 7, 2012

The First Ever Freddy In Space Drunken Q&A!

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Not doing much tonight, aside from drinking some tasty beers (Thanks Jen! Hi BD!) and sitting at the computer, so I thought it might be fun to do a little drunken Q&A.  I posted a call for questions over on the Freddy In Space Facebook page a couple hours back, and it's now time to select a handful and provide my answers.  So let's get to it!

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Donnie Wahlberg, simply because he was in the Saw films. So there, I turned your non-horror question into a horror question!

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The dude who runs Horror Movie Empire.  There is no crime more worthy of punishment by Freddy death in my eyes than fucking over a horror fan.  OK so I don't really wish the dude death, but fuck that guy anyway.

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I'm not the best person to answer this question, being that I generally love bad movies, but the one from recent times that comes immediately to mind is Closed For The Season.  Holy shit that was bad, and not even in a 'so bad it's good' kinda way.

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Crabby Cakes is referring to the Elm Street remake.  I know this not because I'm telepathic (just drunk), but because I referenced Elm Street in the call for questions status update.  Anyways, as I've said a few times in the past, I was and still am furious about how much of a major ball drop that movie was.  Not only did Freddy look totally lame, but they really didn't even bother to do anything new or exciting, despite the fact that advancements in technology should've by all means provided for some seriously awesome stuff.  They tried way too hard to recreate scenes from the original, used way too much unnecessary CGI (even on Freddy's goddamn burnt face!), and it was just a total letdown on every level.  Wanted to love it because I love Freddy so much.  But I simply can't help but hate it.

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I'm totally impersonal when it comes to killing flies and other small animals.  I don't like to crush them or swat them or do any of the dirty business myself.  I feel too bad about it, because I'm a total lover of animals.  Even if that animal is an annoying ass fly, I just can't seem to bring myself to squash it.  So if I lived in that house, and had that problem, I'd totally go the Raid fogger route.  Gets rid of them without the guilt of getting rid of them.  As for the sludge, I'd probably just leave it.  Don't go into the basement much, so it's one of those out of sight out of mind situations.  (James Harris is the mad genius behind Dr. Terror's Blog Of Horrors, by the way!)

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As much as I want to say I'd remake Ice Cream Man, and again cast Clint Howard in the lead, I'd have to go with The Burning.  The story of that one is such a timeless and classic slasher story, and I've always felt it was ripe for a remake.  Kinda shocked it hasn't been remade yet, in fact.  I'd do away with the inherently dated vibe of the original 80's flick and just make it a balls to the wall gory as can be slasher flick with a much more serious and scary vibe.  The world needs more Cropsy!

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Well, it kinda depends, Mike.  Are we talking Englund Freddy or Jackie Earle Freddy?  But seriously, though being killed at the hands of Freddy would be a pretty epic way to go, I'd have to decline that offer.  If I can fake die in an Elm Street flick though, I will die a very happy man in real life.

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I have absolutely no line when it comes to movies and I in fact love when any movie challenges me to rethink that.  I'm a big fan of horror movies that test the limits of what I can handle to watch, and I welcome them with open arms.  After all, horror is supposed to be unsettling and confrontational, is it not?

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Ooh, that's a good one.  Let's see.  Probably Rob Zombie's Halloween.  It's not even that it's that terrible (well, at least not as terrible as H2), but I just wish Rob had stuck to making his own movies.  He's such a creative, talented and unique artist, the kinda guy who's far above remaking other people's ideas.  I think as long as he lets his mind run totally free, and puts on the screen only images and thoughts from his own brain, he's golden.  Let's see if Lords of Salem proves me right or wrong ...

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I have no idea, which is kinda bumming me out considering I'm a Sasquatch/Abominable Snowman enthusiast.  But I have a feeling that me posting your question will result in it being answered by someone.  So I'll let ya know!

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Hm, since people's dream powers are generally amplifications of their true waking selves, I'd probably have some super long mega beard that Freddy could get lost in.  That or I'd have supreme blogging skills, which would allow me to tarnish Freddy's good name across the interwebs and embarrass him into hiding.

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1) No, but when I was a kid my dad was so offended by the heart eating scene from Jason Goes To Hell that he turned it off and didn't let us finish watching it.  It's life experiences like that one that make a kid love horror movies all the more! 2) Gotta go with Trick 'r Treat. So much love for that movie that it almost hurts. 3) With the massive success of The Hunger Games, which is at its core a very 'horror movie' idea, I suspect we'll see a lot more horror movies that are wrapped in a bouquet of mass accessibility.  In other words, past horror movie ideas that are geared towards mainstream audiences, rather than direct remakes of those horror movie ideas.  That's what makes money and so that's what we're gonna see more of on a mainstream box office scale.  Though I loved The Hunger Games, this doesn't bode well for horror fans.  But does it really matter anyway?  Us true horror fans know that if we want good horror, we have to look outside of the mainstream and the 'big trends' anyway.  4) I sympathize a whole lot with Victor Crowley.  He's just a deformed dude who was killed by his father, forced to relive the night of his murder every single night.  Can't help but feel bad for him, even if he'd rip my jaw off my skull if I ran into him.

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Ironically, my favorite Stephen King adaptation is the one Stephen King himself hated.  When it comes to horror movies, it just doesn't get any better than Kubrick's The Shining.  It perhaps never will.

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Not enough, Nanik.  Not nearly enough.

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That is way too deep a question for way too drunk a guy.  So I'm gonna call it a night with this one!

Thanks to everyone for asking questions, even if I didn't get around to answering yours.  Had a blast doing this and will definitely be doing it again on many future weekend nights!!

6 comments:

Fletcherson said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shriek_of_the_Mutilated for the one question maybe?

Fletcherson said...

And by the one question I meant asked by "Carla Sue Thompson."

Katherine said...

I've never seen Ice Cream Man, but it makes me think that any remake should have that dude's design from Face/Off in it!

Johnny said...

Would LOVE to see that villain in a horror movie. That design was amazing, best thing I've ever seen on Face Off!

Juxtafiend aka Shae said...

Have to agree with your answer to my question relating to horror movies and where to draw the line, when people write about how offensive somethIng is it just makes it that much more alluring, I also find that after viewing said offensive material (like cannibal holocaust, a Serbian film ect) what I conjure in my minds eye always seems worse than what is on the screen. What does that say for my mental well being :/ I do love a good 70's/ 80's exploitation horror film

Anonymous said...

hey, on that question about the bigfoot movie. it is definetly shreik of the mutilated. its absolutly my favorite of all the 70's bigfoot movies. its actualy got a pretty cool twist ending. see its a fake bigfoot costume worn by a guy whos in a satanic cult who has another cult member whos also a school teacher who lewers kids to the woods to search for bigfoot, then theyre eaten by the cult members.....anyway its completely got that ugly, sleazy feel,that i love.. it was done by a team that mostly did porn. theyre also the guys who shot the movie that was later released with a few minutes of extra footage as SNUFF.....its definetly worth searching for I found a copy for $1.50 in a 4 pack of bigfoot movies.