Want to hear something exciting? We're just about four months away from Halloween.
Want to hear something even more exciting? That means the costume and decoration manufacturers of the world are starting to unveil their 2012 product lines. Which means, I get to start blogging about Halloween shit again.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
I spent a solid hour or so tonight drinking and perusing hundreds of new costumes for the year over at HalloweenCostumes.com, and I plucked out a few choice ones to share with you tonight, costumes that got my attention for one reason or another, be it because they're cool, shitty or just plain bizarre.
So let's take a look at some of this year's most interesting offerings!
Walking Dead costumes started popping up last year, due to the enormous success of the AMC television show. Rick Grimes in his deputy gear was the obvious choice, but this year we get this variation on the Grimes costume, depicting him as he looked in that one scene from that one episode where he covered himself in zombie blood and guts so that he would smell like an undead sack of shit and thus, not appear to be a filet mignon to the walkers. Somewhat obscure, that much is true, but that was one hell of an awesome scene and I give props to whoever decided that people should attend Halloween costumes as Rick Grimes covered in zombie goop. Just try not to shave your head like this guy did, or else you'll look more like Season 2 Shane dressed as Season 1 Rick, which is totally uncool on the geek scale.
If hell freezes over, pigs sprout wings and Bill Murray finally decides to stop being a goddamn Scrooge and allow us the pleasure of a Ghostbusters 3, I promise to spend an entire day out in public with this thing strapped to my head. I kinda want to anyway, so it's really a win-win for me. I love the mid-life crisis melancholia shit, Bill, but please, for the love of all that is paranormal, do Ghostbusters 3 before one of you dies. Hate to be harsh, but time's a wastin'.
Just another lame Voorhees kids costume, right? At first glance, yes. But take a closer look. Do you see it? Yes, the mask on this costume splits in two, ala Part 7, revealing Jason's hideous zombified face underneath. Now that's pretty badass, a little touch I've never seen a Jason costume given before. Sorry kids who slap generic plastic hockey masks onto your faces on Halloween night, but the game has just been stepped up. Big time.
Halloween costume? I think not. I see this for what it truly is. And what it truly is, is a motherfucking Gizmo Snuggie. And that is fucking awesome. Something tells me this is gonna be keeping me warm this coming winter. And by 'something' I mean the fact that I just pre-ordered one of these. Hey, want to know how you know you've made cute asian chick wet? Ah, never mind.
Got nothing witty to say here, this is just plain cool. They came out with the mask last year (which I gave away here on the blog), and I'm happy to see the costume now completed. Though since mash-ups are in this year, I'm half tempted to toss away the outfit and just rock the mask with women's clothing. Would you like some curry with that?
I would've preferred a Stripe Snuggie instead, but there is admittedly something incredibly charming about the awfulness of this costume. It's like Stripe grew up, got cancer and just wants to be loved. And there's something totally endearing about those Doc Martens. Precious. Totally precious.
Hey look kids, you can dress up as that shitty villain that was created by a guy who once upon a time made a name for himself by molesting the child star of one of his previous movies! Complete with visible zipper up the back of the costume, just like in the movie!!
Captain Lester, eh? Is it just me or is this Captian Lester character a dead ringer for Big Ben from House? I'm sure the likeness is purely coincidental, but that makes this mask pretty cool regardless. Grab one of those Skeleton Zombie costumes, modify it a bit, and you've got yourself a pretty badass House costume. Now all you need is William Katt to complete the look. And I'm sure for less than the cost of the whole costume you can get him to join you on Halloween night. I kid, I kid.
Gotta give this costume credit for versatility; one year you can be The Gimp from Pulp Fiction, the next you can be that scary rubber suit dude from American Horror Story, and all year round you can use it to live out your twisted sadomasochist fantasies. The husband bulge this dude is sporting leads me to believe he's not wearing the costume because he's a Pulp Fiction or American Horror Story fan, I'll tell ya that much. That bulge absolutely screams 'piss on me while I suck your high heel, master.'
And on that note, I think we've had enough Halloween fun for the night!