When artist Frank Browning and I launched our NES Dream Games feature here on Freddy In Space last month, I just knew that we simply had to give Silent Night, Deadly Night the Dream Games treatment, before Christmas came and went. If there's any movie that I wish was turned into a video game back in the day, it's probably Silent Night, and Frank was able to make that happen for me. And for you.
So let's pop this cartridge into our Nintendo system, and start punishing the naughty ... 8-bit style!!
Hmm ... why isn't the start screen coming up? Let me try blowing on the cartridge. That always worked, when I was a kid...
Ah, there we go. Never fails!
Now, we select a mode. According to the instruction booklet, the so called 'Normal Mode' is where you get to play as a cop, on the hunt for Billy, while in 'Punish Mode' you get to play as Billy, and punish the naughty. Punish Mode sounds a whole lot more fun to me, but for the sake of showing off the game in all its glory, let's check out Normal Mode first.
Well crap, this isn't going to be as easy as I thought it was gonna be. With so many people dressed up as Santa Claus, I've found myself in quite in dilemma. My gun is loaded, my 'stache is dy-no-mite, but which goddamn Santa do I shoot?! I don't want to kill an innocent dude!
Hm. I don't know, that Santa on the top left looks pretty devious. Almost like he's about to jump on top of me, and punish me to death. I can't let that happen. So here goes nothing.
Ready ... aim .... fire!!
Oh. Balls. Sorry, innocent Santa!
That's enough of that. Let's get to the good stuff ... it's time for PUNISH MODE!!!
See now this is more my style. Going around town, dispatching the naughty with my trusty axe ... life is good. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna enjoy chopping folks up and hanging them on antlers, so I'll be back in a little bit!
**ONE HOUR LATER**
Alright, I'm back. And guess what? In just about an hour of game play, I've made it all the way to the final level, and it's time for the final boss battle of the game. Are you ready for an epic showdown between Billy and Mother Superior, in front of Ira's Toys!? Wish me luck!
BOOM! Bitch went down! One well placed shot with the axe and Mother Superior is no more. She shot me, this is true, but have no fear. My health meter is plenty full enough that it didn't do too much damage. As for her, well, it looks like she's on empty. Guess it was Billy who was superior on this night, huh bitch!?
Well that was fun. Big time thanks to Frank Browning for making the magic that just happened possible. Something tells me Santa is gonna be good to Frank this year. He damn sure deserves it!!